by Cassandra

Your Alcohol Choices From Refined To Ratchet

The Carter’s Champagne: Ace of Spades 

This Brut gold bubbly is the same champagne Queen of the World Beyoncé and her hubby, Jay-Z, use as mouth wash. So if you find yourself sipping on this with one pinky raised, know that you’ve got a pass to throw Mariah Carey-type shade at anyone, anytime. Upon finishing an entire bottle of Ace, you instantly morph into Sasha Fierce. JK! But you can consider yourself a part of Blue Ivy’s entourage…or just her college fund. Refined.

Fashion’s Stamp Of Approval: Belvedere Vodka

Belvedere is at Cannes, Art Basel, and in Chelsea Handler’s dressing room. Not to mention the brand – which has cozied up to music and fashion influencers – just helped launch an awesome music app with Rolling Stone. So consider the high-end Belvedere the bevvy for late night after-hour sessions in ritzy hotel rooms. Refined

Why, Yes, I Am Fancy: Zacapa Rum

 If Zacapa Rum were a woman, you’d wife her up and go half on a baby after the first date. That’s because, unlike other rums, Zacapa’s barreled in the upper slopes of the mountains of Guatemala, and is distilled from fermented virgin sugar cane honey instead of molasses. So, yes, Zacapa Rum is the J.Lo of all rums. Refined.

Not Ratchet, Rather Hood Rich: Hennessy 

Soon after Kanye’s Hennessy-in-one-hand-Amber-Rose-in-the-other VMA red carpet moment, Hennessy went from the official drink of the hood to the official drink of the hood rich. FYI: Mix Hennessy with Hypnotiq or Alize and you’ll land yourself on the former list. We’re gonna go with RefinedRatchet on this one.

Keep It Classy, Keep It Cute: Trader Joe’s Wine

Trader Joe’s plays a happy medium for those vino lovers who aren’t about that Chateau Diana life, but can’t afford anything over $40. Oh, and their signature Trader Jose (which is definitely Corona under a different label) is the best six-pack you can buy. Cheaply Refined.

 Not Ratchet, Just Hipsterish: PBR 

 Avid Pabst Blue Ribbon drinkers will remind you that the beer is actually “America’s Best” (check that blue ribbon, suckas!). While that is definitely not the case, you should know Lana Del Rey drinks PBR over ice. Still, it’s definitely Ratchet.

An Open Bar Fave: Georgi Vodka

Georgi is well-known to be the official vodka of the open bar. Though they’ve got a premium version, the rubbing alcohol vodka brand also shills waffle and popcorn flavors. So, we’ll go with Ratchet.

DON’T JUDGE ME: Jungle Juice

A fave of warehouse-goers and frat partiers, jungle juice is essentially a mix of every alcohol under $10.00. Love jungle juice and we’ll safely assume you’re either too young to drink, or just Ratchet.

Rock Bottom: 4Loko 

No explanation, just Ratchet.